Complaining Is NOT Classy; Communicating Is

img_2277I’m excited to share some of the classy mini lessons that I have been giving my daughter on the way to school. Sometimes the lessons are prompted by behaviors. This one was not. In fact it seemed like it was better received, because I was not telling Scarlet that she did anything wrong. I was simply stating a fact: Complaining is NOT classy. There was no need for getting defensive. We had a lovely conversation about it.

 

An hour later, third graders began filing into my classroom. Some students didn’t like something that they read on the morning board. When I heard their groans, I got everyone’s attention. I told them about the lesson that I had just shared with Scarlet: It isn’t classy to complain. Rather than whining about having to take a quiz, you should communicate. Tell the teacher (me) that you understand that assessments are necessary, but you would rather experience dynamic lessons than complete a boring quiz. This will make the teacher (me) feel good about your appreciating his (my) hard work, and maybe he (I) will reconsider administering a quiz today. Whining just makes you sound lame.checklist

When teaching Scarlet the lesson, I used her teacher, Mrs. Brans, and a writing lesson as a hypothetical situation. I told Scarlet that if Mrs. Brans had you writing all morning, and then announces after lunch that the class was going to do more writing, it would not be classy to complain, even if you are extremely unhappy about this prospect. It would behove you to communicate to Mrs. Brans that, although you really like writing, you practiced it all morning and are tired. Ask Mrs. Brans if there is any way you and the class could take a little break, before continuing with more writing.

I asked Scarlet if this sounded reasonable. Her face was bright all over. She seemed to get it. Complaining just adds to problems. Communication paves the way to problem-solving.

After lunch I was thrilled to have some of my students try this trick out on me. When I told them we were going to do centers, a girl raised her hand and began, “Mr. Weimann, we have done centers the past couple of days, and while we like them just fine, we are a little tired of them. Could we do something else instead?”

img_2550
Students might be more likely to complain when they think that their communication wouldn’t be taken seriously. We need to make sure they feel like we are listening.

“No! Keep your comments to yourself and do what you’re told!” I like kidding with my students, and this was my way of saying, “Nice job remembering my little lesson from earlier.” I was really proud of her for doing exactly what I had taught. To reward this classy kid, I made a checklist on the board of things I wanted the students to complete in order of priority; No centers. This afforded me the opportunity to walk around and help students. Also, we began a new improved football pinata for our Reading Super Bowl celebration, next Friday. It was a fun-filled, project-finishing, complain-free afternoon… all because feelings were classily communicated.

img_2098
After readers theaters, kids communicated to me the need to just veg out. This is what ensued.